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Writer's pictureLily Aronin

Expectations are dream killers

Some days it’s 8 pm and I feel like I just got off the spinning tea cups. Round and round my head is going.


Everyday I start with expectations. How people should act, how I should respond, what I think will happen if or when.


A grateful day is one where I am present. I know the current circumstances require unbiased attention, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to make the next right choice.


An ungrateful day feels like WTF is going on with the world ? why is no one doing, saying, feeling or acting how I expect them to, even me!


Expectations are not goals. A goal is a destination. Expectations are our attachment to certainty. We want to know that our ship will arrive on time. That the many uncontrollable factors will be navigated and the ship will eventually arrive safely at its destination.



What is more important, you arriving or this ship arriving at the destination? Gratitude is, “I believe and am thankful that each unique moment between here and my goal is uncertain because I can’t possibly anticipate every possible scenario. I can’t wIt to see who I grow into on the way. “ we accept that, I don’t actually know , I just assume and expect who I will be at the destination. It’s better to take each day and plan as subject to change and focus on being happy on the journey.


The Maccabees had no idea that they were founding a kingdom when they rebelled against the Greeks. The little pot of oil was expected to last 1 night. When we release expectations we can be open and grateful to creative solutions and opportunities that all arrive at our goal. Whether we get there by land or air or sea doesn’t really matter.


Tonight’s exercise is to express gratitude for what did not happen as you expected. Build in day by day an appreciation for Gd’s guiding hand. Keep a list or how things unexpectedly helped you. It is always moving you toward your goal. The surprise is often just not by the means you were expecting.


Day 7 ✅

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